oboy oboy oboy. I was so surprise taday! Miss E went away to doctor. Again!!! So we be by ourself a long time.
Dis what happen when Miss E gone a long time. Ninja try become the boss. He trying teach me be ninja, too. But, Our Lady, Bambi, she say I no be the kinda kitty can be a ninja. Mebbe I agree, but sumtimes I want ta try be ninja. Bambi say me too liddle, not grow up all da way. I fink I is big boy, but she say, I just big fer me age.Sumtimes is fun. But, sumtime it hurt me to fly and hit da wall. I rather watch TV insted!
So, Ninja, he show me he is boss. He sit by food all day. No let me to eat my lunch. I try and try, but Ninja, he say I got to tuffin myself. No eat, be strong. No be sissy kitty. Dis while Queen Bambi sleepin. When she wake up she come ta eat. I lets her eat cuz she Our Lady Queen, an I reespects her most much. So, I go to look out window, but Ninja, he follow me and say we can play chase.
I always like play chase, so we play chase. We run so much all over house. Big fun fun. But, Ninja he bump right into table in hallway jus as I was flying over it. Oboy oboy. Dat table hurt me and fall down on middle floor where da sparks falled from ceiling da other day.
Den Ninja, he run hide under bed. I say, "Why you do dat?" He say gots to practice ninja medit tayshun. He say I shood medi tayt too. Need calm. Need rest after bump ourselves. He say, "You no dizzy?" I say no, but is liddle bit dizzy. But, no wannt medi tayt, still wanna play.
So, I runs to Bambi. She like ta play wit me sumtimes, too. So, I run at her. She all ready, and she fink I gonna go right, but I go left and I leap high up on top of glass fish house. But, I too dizzy!! I miss da safe place! And I land in danger place!! Den da fish house losed it's roof and lights!!! Dey roof and lights all fall down inside fish house and git all wet!!! I berry surprise so much I feel buzzy-fuzzy all weird and strange! Buzzzzz.
Bambi all worried, eyes all big! Ninja come running. Bambi, she get all serious.
She say "git down from dere! Get down right now! Danger! Danger!
She, da Queen, Command me! I obay. Jump down all wet. Bambi, she come kissy my nose and lick. But, I big boy, I licks all me wet fur meself.
So, den Miss E, she come home. We all go meet her. But, not Ninja, he sittin at food again. Miss E got no baggies dis time, but her perse smell really different. So, me and Bambi, we sniff sniff all over and sniff sniff Miss E's fingers before we let her pet us. Dat's proper cat way ta do fings, say Queen Bambi. And Miss E, she learnt her cat manners berry good... sumtimes.
Uh, Oh, den Miss E look round and see da carpet where we taired it up. I forgets ta tell you bout dat. Ninja likes ta bite me on my buttsy, and dat hurts and me cry out. Den Bambi get mad at Ninja and chase him and bite him for me. when she do dat, Ninja scrach him claws fast tryin ta git away from her so when he do dat, carpet came up in air and fold down not flat no more.
Miss E, she see dat and she figure we do dat, and fix it. She hurry to put perse away and stop hard in the hallway. How dat happen she say. Ninja still in kitchen at food. He mumble, "not me. I ninja, not be sloppy. It was Spyder." But, Miss E. She no hear him. She fink it big mystery and go look at back door. Is it lock? Yes. Is computer where it belong? Yes. Whaat big mystery it is to her. I try tell her it me who done it. I rub her legs and she pet me sore bump on head and forgiv me.
Den after purse put away, she turn and first time she notice da glass fish house! She notice da fish house roof, it all fall down, and big glass lights all fall down, both inside da water far down. And lights still bright and glowing. Bambi tell her, Danger! Danger! So Miss E, she grab unplug lights. Den she pull dem out and put on towels. Bambi she gonna go sniff, maybe taste da fish water on turn off lights. But, Miss E, she hiss at her. Miss E, she know how ta hiss jus like us cats, pretty good. So Bambi stick her nose up in air and walk away from Miss E. She say she no was gonna reely go right there. Was only curious. And Miss E insult her. Queen Bambi, she gots hurt feelings and goes lie down on Miss E's bed ta show her she da queen of da house. Miss E gots ta learn dat.
Miss E decide to straiten up all messy blankets on bed. I likes dem dat way, but she don't know. She know now Bambi is Queen, and she puts blankets all flat everywhere cept where Bambi sittin. Den, Ninja, he jump up on bed. Miss E is fixing pillows now, and I wants to jump up on bed. But, Ninja he warn me, he growl.
Well, Bambi, she say she TIRED of Ninja growling and trying to keep away, and she leap fast fast across bed to scrape him. Miss E hold still, not move and watch. I be standin on me back legs all up tall so I see what happen nex. Ninja, he stop on corner of bed. He say he ninja and not give in. He stay there. He growl, but more quiet this time. Bambi, she stand over him. He growl some more. She make higher noises and whisper some insults at him, then she say, I Queen.. Obay me. Ninja jump down, and one last time Bambi take a swipe at him. But, Ninja all gone now, back to other room on other bed.
I look at Bambi wid new more more ree spect. She amazing! She make Ninja get off bed. She say, Spyder can jump on bed now. But, I don't know. She scare me. Maybe, I stay on floor. I see Miss E move over to corner of bed where Ninja was, and she pick up puffs of Ninja fur. I never see Bambi tear out Ninja fur! She move so fast fast!!!
So den, Miss E, she put Ninja in other bedroom, pet pet him and he purr purr, den she close door. She go in her room. Bambi sit on bed. Miss E pet pet Bambi too, den close door. I all nervous. What she gonna do wid me? She come to me, sweep me up in her arms. I get happy. I purr and purr. She open speshul can of kitty baby food so I get good growing up nootrishun. She so nice ta me. I broked her fish house and she still love me.