Keli's Story

Hi, I'm the Dowager Queen! And this is my story!

My real name is Keli Weli Jeli Beli (also spelled Kelly Welly Jelly Belly) the welly is because I can make my purrson well when she is sick, and the Jelly Belly is self explanatory. I have a wonderful swinging pouch! Have you seen it? Gorgeous!

1999 on my 10th Birthday

I have a couple of nicknames that only my human servant, may call me: Keli, Miss Keli, and Clementine (as in "Oh My Darling, Clementine). It's a fine, fine song, I am told, and fitting for an outstanding Queen, like myself. I have never heard the lyrics, though I'm sure they praise me. I love the melody and have loved it ever since the day I was born because my Elizabeth whistles it for me. I don't need words.

I had siblings, Beardsley, Elvis and Madonna, but they were adopted! Maybe you could count Xavier and Laurie, but they weren't my litter mates. My three kitten siblings and I never really hit it off anyway, and they all left home early. I wasn't born at the same time they were. Everybody thought I was dead, but I came out 24 hours after they were all born. We "didn't bond". I've had a whole bunch of “kissing kin” in my life... cousins and half-step cats, and out and out strangers claiming a spot in my family. Too many to name right now. They may remain nameless. We'll see.

My favorite purrsonal saying is "I am the Queen of all the Lucky Cats, you must do my bidding" but don't you try to pet me without my permission! or I WILL BITE!

The beginning of my tail is: The Vet told my Elizabeth that I was a dead kitten in my mother's womb after my 3 siblings were born alive. The Vet wanted to cut my mother's belly open to remove the "poison" that would surely kill her. Vets don't know everything! My Elizabeth was too broke to pay for an emergency operation, so the Vet gave my poor mother an injection of medicine to "force the dead kitten out." he said.

This is what my Elizabeth wrote in her journal 
Sunday, Aug 27
Gypsy punished us all night by pouncing HARD across our bodies. Several times she sat hard on me. She's not at all relaxed with her babies like last time. I tried to put her back in her box, but she kept jumping on me. Finally, I cuddled her and petted her and when I rubbed her belly I realized she had a hard lump inside her belly. I decided to take her to the emergency vet. I know it's going to cost a lot of money. They charge extra for the weekend! 

Tues Aug 29
Dead kitten in womb is not dead. It's born and it's a calico! Just like the one I have been dreaming about!!!

I was born in the hands of my Elizabeth and we have been bonded ever since. (That's why she's my hand maiden!) Though my mother was a great Mom, (Gypsy Queen Nefertiti was her name), my siblings had already laid claim to her. So, me and my Elizabeth have been together ever since. That was in August of 1989, the same day as my human sister's birthday.

Since I have been on this planet for so long, that makes me a Dowager Queen, I am told.

About my social life, I'm open to meeting other cool cats like me and cat-loving dogs. I know there are a few out there somewhere as I have met some respectful doggies before. Shiny fishes that know just how to catch the light appeal to me. I like quick moving bugs and spiders. And I love brave birds, like my favorite hummingbird friend. We chat regularly whenever he drops by.

As for humans, I will permit them to befriend me under the following circumstances.
Anyone who knows how to value and respect me.
Anyone who lets me sniff their feet and legs as much as I want.
Anyone who does not insist on putting their hands on me until I say so.
Anyone who will wait for my permission to pick me up to hold me.
Anyone who stays still for me and doesn't wiggle around when I have taken the trouble to comfortably settle myself on their lap.
Anyone who does NOT bring their dogs into my domain without specifically requesting permission. They must also continue to restrain their dogger until I say they can move around. I may not give permission anyways. So watch it! Exceptions to this rule are doggers who already know better and understand me the moment they see me.
Anyone who can really give a good rubdown without touching all the tender spots. No tummy rubbing allowed!!!

Oh, yes! I love to meet anyone who claims to be allergic to cats!

These are some of my favorite things:
sunlight
heating pads
electric blankets
wall heaters
electric heaters
warm cement
warm dirt
fresh grass
catnip
chamomile
valerian
catmint (especially!)
bathing
petting
human sternum (closer to the nostrils the better)
windowsill
bookshelves, dressers, table tops and other high places
bedding
pillows
sofa
rocking chair
clean laundry
closets
drawers
cozy corners and other hiding places
running water
feather toys
hummingbirds
toy mice
toy snakes
strings
photographs (I just love to lick them they taste so good!)
rolling over  meowing  growling  mewling  yowling  purring
drinking: bathtub water, out of the faucet and any outdoor sprinkler

These are my favorite cat movies:
Mopsey, a tribute to one fine cat
Shii's Song
PoozyBall
Magnificat
Cat Zoom
Cats Don't Dance
Cat Hypnotism
Taxi Cat
Carpet
Cat Dance
Freak
Bird Watching for Cats

These are my favorite TV programs:
Animal Planet
Meerkat Manor
Big Cats (National Geo)
Wild Cats (NG)
Curiosity Thrilled the Cat
While You Are Gone

My favorite books:
Hiss and Tell, True Stories from a Cat Shrink
Psycho Kitty?
Catnips: A Book of Haiku on Cats,
The Cat Who Cried for Help
Catnip for the Soul
Think Like a Cat
Starting from Scratch
Catnip (Nepeta cataria),
Dancing With Cats --- (This one is Awesome!)
Famous Painted Cats
For Every Cat an Angel
Why Don't Cats Like to Swim?
50 Games to Play With Your Cat
Planet Cat: A CAT-alog
All I Need to Know I Learned From My Cat,
The Rules for Cats: The Secret to Getting Catnip Free for Life,
Catku: What Is The Sound of One Cat Napping?
Why Cats Paint: A Theory of Feline Aesthetics

These are my heroes
Me, of course!
Mother Nature, 'cuz She invented Catnip.
Big Daddy, upstairs, 'cuz, even though He invented fleas, I really like His water and fresh air! And Birds!!!!
Kats, he’s the greatest
Elizabeth can’t be my hero, ‘cause really, she’s my best friend and I know her faults.

Eye Color:   Jealousy Green

Pointed or floppy ears?   Pointed, of course!

Short-hair or long-hair?   Half way between the two, just right!

Kind of Tail:   Magnificent

Are you loud or quiet?   I'm a perfect lady and only yowl at night

Favorite brand/kind of food:   The expensive stuff only (crunchy or canned)

Favorite Treats:   Roast Turkey

Do you ever eat from people’s plate?  Who else will finish it besides me?

Favorite human food:   Roast Turkey, as previously mentioned, and Sashimi
Are you picky?   I'm nutritionally knowledgeable

How many times per day do you eat?   What kind of question is that? I eat just like every other normal cat…. Throughout the day!

Which is your favorite or do you prefer?

Cats or Dogs:   Cats, or course, I do tolerate doggers that can read my mind and are properly respectful of me.

Mice or Birds:   Birds are better!

Squirrels or Rabbits:   I've shared peanut butter with a squirrel friend.

Indoors or Outdoors:   Outdoors for chewing on grass, catnip and up-chucking. Indoors for cuddling on the bed, sitting on the windowsill, shedding fur etc.

Sleep or Exercise:   Doesn't everyone sleep? What's exercise?

Up High or on the Ground:   Last time I was up high, I fell and injured my old bones. I miss that window! Ground is fine for getting about, but I prefer about halfway up now… the sofa, the rocking chair, the bed, the toilet seat, the bathroom sink. That’s about it.

Where do you sleep?
Wherever I please, but like sternums and ankles, heating pads, and the rocking chair.

What is your favorite toy?
Nyeh! I don't bother with toys any more. I'm too grown up for that kitten stuff. But I do like birdwatching.

Do you enjoy car rides?   Ever since my MomCat was pregnant with me!

Do you like to swim?   I LOVE the water, especially beneath the sprinklers!

Do you like to have company over?   Not unless they leave me alone until I can decide if they are worth my attentions.

What is the worst trouble you ever got into?
Biting my Elizabeth. Always biting my Elizabeth!

What is the best memory with your family?   Traveling across the country 2,000 miles, and riding on top of all the stuff in the back of the station wagon while people, especially kids, in other cars admired me while driving by. I just loved the looks on those doggers faces, though. They were the best! Also good memories of the fun of  love biting my Elizabeth, nibbling fresh grown catnip, drinking water out of the faucet, and tripping up my Elizabeth.

What kind of Tricks can you do?  Playing hide a seek. Disappearing and hiding out while my Elizabeth frantically searches for me. She even hollers, and calls me in a high pitched voice while I snicker to myself and I am right hear her. But she is too stupid to find me. This gets boring after a while, so then I come out. She really loves me up after this pawsome trick!

Aren't I the most wonderful Dowager Queen cat you ever heard of?
Keli

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please note: 
Dowager Queen Keli Weli Jeli Beli went to the rainbow bridge March 18, 2009
She lived almost twenty years. She was born into my hands and died in my arms. My heart has a big hole in it. I shall miss her forever.
Sadly,
Elizabeth