Oct 20, 2009

Cat Trains Human

I am da most awesum kitten dat ever was!

Dat's what elixabet say when I began her obedience training. So, I was trainin' elixabet, see. I try menny tymes before she unnerstand what she sposed ta do.

I hunted for me mousie all over da house. He gots away so menny tymes. I hunt everywhere. But no can find him.

They's so many mousies n balls n toys, but I wants only me special mousie. Da one wit da blue fur and no tail. I ate his tail one time. elixabet worry bout dat for a while. But, is okay. When I was little me mama brought us kittens mouses all da tyme. So I know what to do wid dem. I miss me Mama sometymes but Bambi say it okay, Bambi can be my pretend mama. So, dats okay wid me. Don't hardly member me brudders n sissies no more. Dats okay, too. I got Bambi. I got Ninja. I got elixabet and da Monk. So, I not lonesome. I know from da shelter dat they got good homes, too.

I ask Ninja, where me mousie? I ask Bambi, where me mousie? Ninja say I has plenty toys. Go play wid one of dem dats in the dresser cubby space. Is okay, he say. Can have fun dat way.

But I wants me speshul mousie!!!

Bambi say, did you check behind doors? in corners? hidden under fings? Where did you have it last time you played with it?

I dunno. Don't member.

Toys do dat ya know. Toys likes ta hide cus dey wants ta play hide n seek. Sometymes dey jus wanna rest. Sometymes dey jus disappear forever.

I don't wants me mousie ta disappear!

I lookt all dem places what Bambi said. Den I look under frigerator. Aha! Der was my mousie. I finds my mousie under da fridge. I such a good hunter. Huh?

I get mousie out from under da fridge. I work hard. Out. Out. Come out mousie. Let's play. Me paws was dirty all way up to my... whatcha callem.... elbohs? An elixabet she see me all dirty. But I gots me mousie in me mouf, and she think she gonna take it away from me but I hang on tyte to mousie. She want to pick me up, wash me off, but I get away from her. Ha ha! she give up.

So now she ready to learn from me. I run all ziga zag in front of her. She laugh. She sit down to watch. So I puts da mousie in front of her. Ya know? Like a gift. Like when me Mama brought gifts. So, I sit dere and wait. She coo at me."What a good kitty!" Ov course I good kitty! She don't hafta tell me dat. But is nice to know she figger dat out. So, I pounce at mousie, but not so hard. Just pounce near it, so she think I wanna play.

Ninja n Bambi, dey watchin alla tyme. Dey smilin. Dey laughin. Dey fink so funny dat I bother to try to teach elixabet tricks and trainin her ta do what I want. I gonna show dem, I fink. I gonna show dem!

She is gettin' it! She know I wanna play. She pick up mousie n toss him across da room. Yeah, she got teh idea now! Okay, so I runs to catch mousie. Make her laugh. I grabs mousie in my teef, and bring mousie back to her. Jus out of reach so she know I want her to get it. She pick up mousie again and trhow it. Yay! she one smart hooman! So I tell her wid a little mew purr. She a good girl! She smile. I runs n bring back mousie. She so happy she learning. I train her all day.

She get up and go to bafroom. Comb her hair all fallin' down in her face. Take her pills. I foller her in dere wid me mousie. Yup! I play wid him, bounce him all round da baftub so she not forget ta play.

Den she go lie down on dat big bed. She fink I gonna let her rest? I leap up wid mousie n she throw again n again.

I run,
I jump,
I leap,
I flies,
I smash into wall,

I dig behind door n under bed to find mousie each time, so she never forget how to play da game of Throw. She call it fetch, but I call it Throw.

She can call it fetch if she wantsta. But, I jus happy she learn so good n fast.

We play hard til I huff n puffin' and she got arm tired.

I climb on puter table wit my mousie and lay it down dere so mousie not get lost again.

We play again tomorrow. See if she member her training.

Now I rest. All tired out.


Jan said...

Both Milo and Alfie used to play fetch when they were kittens. Milo would fetch his favourite mousie and Alfie would fetch his rope. Milo doesn't do it anymore (he thinnks he's too grown up) ~ but Alfie still loves to play fetch with his rope. Sometimes he fetches it to my bed first thing ~ before I've got up ~ and we have an early morning game of fetch.

Spyder said...

I so happey to no some other kittehs are lyke me. So they is brilliant genius too. And the Jan is smart human to be trained good by dem too.