Dances with Lemons

Was lotsa fun today. Miss E was outside an' we watched form da kitchen winnow, me and Queen Bambi did dat. Ninja was in udder room winnow watchin. Miss E, she was past da pine tree where ol' Jeffery is in da dirt unner the rocks. We dint know whut she was doin. But, we herds her cutting somefing. Cut, cut, cut.

When she came in, she smell so differnt. She has baggie wiff yellow balls inside. Dey was bigger than my toy plastic ones. And dey smells funny liek I says.

Bambi sneaking to da door when Miss E coming inside. She always do dat. She wants ta go out so bad, so much. She try get out all da time and Miss E, she squirts her wid da water bottle every time and Queen Bambi run away every time, den she come back and try again. Don't know why she does dat. I don't liek squirt bottle. I liek da water what taste good better in da bowl or in da sink.

So, den Miss E, she put the baggies on da floor and Bambi comes running up to dem liek always. She loves dem baggies every time. Bambi loves the crinkle noise, she love ta sniff all da baggies and play in dem more all time. I like watch her play, and today I like sniff dem baggies. Weird smell, dem yeallow balls. All differnt sizes. But, they not real, I thinks. Miss E call dem Lemons.

Ninja say he know all 'bout Lemons. He say dey grow on tree, and dere's a Lemon tree in front of pine tree out dere. Dat where Miss E was cuttin. He say he no liek Lemons. He say they sting da mouth real bad. How he know? He say he try lick Lemons when he much younger and doggies laugh at him. Those doggies him used ta live with. I don't fink I gonna liek doggies ta laff at me. I will hiss at dem. But, I don't know how ta hiss yet. But, I'm gonna lern one of deez dayz how ta hiss. Ninja and Bambi, they hisses real good. But, I respects dem so I no hisses at dem. But, someday mebbie I gonna hiss at doggies if they laffs at me.

Ninja say Lemon is very much yucky. He say burn his tongue. So, I just sit on counter and watch when Miss E take Lemons outta baggies. Dis was after Bambi got bored with baggies. Miss E always wait until Bambi done with baggies. She know better den ta take the baggies before Bambie done wiff dem.

So, Miss E, she take Lemons out da baggies. Den one Lemon, it fall on da floor. I jump down to catch Lemon. It not so big. It small one. It not all yellow. Some part is green. I put my nose on lemon. It not sting me. So, I push Lemon wid my paw. It roll on floor real funny. Not like my plastic play balls at all. It so funny roll, I smack wid my paw ta see what happen nex. It roll funny again.  I smack again and chase Lemon. Is fun. Lemon is fun toy. It go in all direction all crookedy. Big fun. I never know which way it gonna go nex.

Bambi come inside kitchen ta see what I doin. Ninja come inside kitchen ta see what I was doin. Ninja say I is crazy and walk away. Bambi jump in winnow ta watch me best way. So I play wit Lemon real good for her enjoy watchin me. I dance with Lemon all over da floor. I dance so much wiff Lemon, Bambi say dat my dancing very happy for her.

I lieks Lemon ta play wit, but I will no eats, cuz Ninja warn me and he real smart ol' Dude. Uh, Oh! He no liek me call him Dude. Bambi no liek me call her Queenie. Ninja no liek me call him Dude. But, they calls me Kid and Pip-Squeak all da times. Why dey do dat? I growin up now. I not so liddle any more. I getting bigger than Bambi now. She all short and a liddle bits chubby. But, I taller now. I gots longer leggins and I gots longer tail. I got handsome, very handsome tail. My tail longer than Ninja tail, too. But, him still fat and I skinny boy. See? I growin up now. Just gots ta get fatter.