Indoor Cats Outdoor Mis-Adventure

Miss E put us all in our room and closed the door, so the Monk could work on gluing more tiles on the floor. Good thing, too. We don't want Bambi getting sticky feet anymore! Everything was a mess. Tiles stacked up, tools spread about, the Monk in his work clothes.

We were quite happy to remain safely together. Of course we have all claimed our own territory. I've got my futon bed over by the big pillow. Spyder stays in his little square bed Miss E recently bought, but he has almost outgrown it already.  He's on the bed near me. But, that's close enough! If he gets any bigger, I wont have any room for me! Our Queen, Bambi, now has a new box with holes cut into it up high in the corner by the window. She calls it her Salon, so that we might come up and visit her. We probably wont as we think she might find our timing "inconvenient".

Miss E's son and his Lady came by to take Monk and Miss E to dinner. Mr. X is one of my favorite guys, and Lady is the sweetest human we know. But, they were not ready to leave yet. The Monk had to put all his belongings away and change clothes. I could hear them rushing around to leave on time. I thought they would forget to let us out of our room. It's one thing to be together when necessary, but when no one is home we should have the house to ourselves. We were really getting to feel a little cramped and needed to run around an play. Besides, how could they all leave without greeting us a few moments and saying sayonara? How could Mr. X and Lady leave without seeing me?  After all, they find me to be quite an attractive fellow and they are lavish with their praise. I always have them to myself, as Bambi would rather watch them from the condo, and Spyder from the hallway. I'm sure they like me best.

Before they all left the house, everyone scurried about shutting windows. They had been open earlier to blow the fumes outside from the tile.

Even though it is supposed to be environmentally safe, I'm sure no one ever thought to test it on cat noses. We could have told them it stunk. Now that the Monk was finished with the job and all the tiles were nicely stuck to the floor the fumes were quite gone. Arigato very much! We could still smell the fumes, and being cats with our sensitive ability to smell, we will probably be aware of them for a long time.

Bambi says, "Oh what we have to put up with to have a forever home!" But, this is a fact of any cat's life who lives with humans. There's always something!

It wasn't too long after they left that I discovered one of the windows unlocked. It didn't take much to curl my claws (I mean nunchuks) around the edge and nudge it open. I finally got it far enough open to fit my body through. But then realized, I was faced with the dilemma of the screen. It was not going to slide open or push out. So, in true ninja style I took one of my nunchuks and gave the window screen a slice or two, or three or four. I was enjoying myself digging at it so much, I lost count. I really did an excellent shred job on that screen. If I do say so myself. It became a perfect escape route. Since it was evening I could leap from the hole in the screen, down to the ground and go hunting for enemies wearing my ninja shield of invisibility. Something I haven't had the opportunity to do for a very long time. Though Jeffery was allowed to go out all the time because he was once a forest cat and depriving him of being outside was a sin, in his opinion, Miss E has been adamant that I must stay inside with Bambi and Spyder. But, oh how I might enjoy meeting up with another cat, like me.

I had only made that exit for myself, so I was not happy to learn that Bambi had followed me. I told her to go back but she reminded me, "One does not order about one's Queen." I tried to explain there might be danger lurking about, but she did not listen. "I've been out in the world, before, Ninja! More than you have, I'll wager." With that she sauntered off to the sidewalk to roll on it.

I know how much she loves to roll in the dirt, the sidewalk dirt, the driveway dirt, the front yard dirt, which has so many kinds of flavors and fragrances! Before long she looked like a common street cat. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I didn't say anything.

By this time, I was practicing my ninja invisibility tricks behind the plants and bushes. I could hear the dogs next door sniffing anxiously. I could see nose prints on their window, the glow of their eyes. But, they could not see me, so they were too confused to bark. If their human knew we were out here she would have opened her door and let them out after us. She's a mean lady and did that before to our long departed Keli Clementine, and we know the results of that. I decided to go back away from their house and over toward Bambi.

It was then we realized our mistake. We did not tell Spyder to stay in the house. In fact I could have scared him into the garage as usual and he would have stayed there until we returned. Unfortunately, we were reveling in our clandestine moments and didn't realize how frightened Spyder could be to discover us gone and no one home. His fear was great, but no so much that he wanted to be left behind. And so, our little intrepid hunter took a leap out the hole I had created in the window screen. He landed in the patch of alstromeria just coming up now. He seem okay. Just a bit shaken up. But, young as he was, he doesn't have the ability to be as quiet as us older, more experienced cats. And before you know it, the hounds of hell next door were shouting madly, threatening and calling us names and warning they were going to tear our necks apart. It was hair raising. Bambi had skeedaddled to the other side of the house hiding beneath the car where she got grease on her fur. But, she wasn't concerned about her beauty at that moment. Just survival. I followed quite closely. But it was then, we realized Spyder had not taken our signal to come this way.

Perhaps the dogs had confused him. They sure were carrying on! We decided to split up and go find Spyder. I asked Bambi to help me. She said she would guard out front and I should go too the back yard. I didn't say much at the time. But why should he go into the back yard, climbing a six foot fence, when he had no experience whatsoever? All I knew he must have been pretty scared. The only dogs he has ever known about were the stories I told him of my ninja master and my meditation teacher. Both imperious dogs but fairly harmless. Bambi and I had not told him about Keli's terrible encounter with the dogs next door. Maybe we should have.

Just about then, our people came home. I could hear them from the back yard, where I could smell Spyder but couldn't see him with my night seeing eyes. He must have been behind something. Then, I thought I heard his heart beating, but that was way too fast, more like a humming bird's wings. I heard Miss E sweet talking Bambi, who was still rolling on the driveway out front. X and Lady went up and down the street calling us. They really didn't need to travel that far. The Monk opened the back door so I went running to him. I pointed my thoughts to him. "Spyder is back here!" But, before I could say anything else he shut me into the bedroom. He must have got my message, though, as he got a flashlight and headed into the back yard with it. Poor humans! Cannot see in the dark. They would stumble around blind without their flashlights.

I could hear Miss E cajoling Bambi to come in, but I know how Bambi is. Just as soon as you get close to her, she leaps away like a deer. Just like that deer in the Bambi movie. She looks so cute when she does that in the house, but now I was worried about her. Those dogs were barking an alert to every other dog in the neighborhood. I could even hear one two streets over, passing on the message. The dogs next door barked, "Cats are out! Let's get them!" The barker down the street, "Ah, leave them alone, you stinky terrorists!" The dog two streets over barked, "What fun! Maybe the cats will play come and catch me!" You see some doggies likes cats, and some doggies don't. It doesn't help if the dogger's person doesn't like cats, and the lady next door definitely does not.

With all that barking going on Bambi headed straight back to the house. She told me later, it was a good thing Miss E left the door wide open, otherwise Bambi might have been confused and kept on going across the other neighbor's lawn. Once Bambi was inside she came and stayed with me in the bedroom. I could sense that Spyder was still somewhere in the back yard. But, Bambi said no. He was in the back yard of the dogger's house. No wonder they were barking so hard. We could only hope their person would not let them out. What would poor Spyder do if two doggs went after him at once?

It took a long time for the Monk and Miss E to find him. Eventually, Miss E asked the Monk to check on us, so he came inside and petted us. Miss E sat in the backyard. I could hear her making Spyder's little mews. He still doesn't meow like a grown up cat, yet. Then, I could hear Spyder respond. He was up on the roof of the neighbor's shed, and every time he tried to walk the thin edge of the fence he fell and clung to it and went back up on the roof. Miss E had to walk right beside the fence to get him to come to her shoulder. That is very hard to do considering all the plants and shrubbery along the fence.

We were all very grateful that Spyder was safe, and so are we. But, we are very dirty and Miss E says we need a bath. Bambi and Spyder don't know what that means. They both have been washing themselves with their tongues. I am very depressed because I know what's coming next. Even Ninja's can be humiliated!