Dec 12, 2010
Royal Cat Decree from Queen Bambi
I hereby proclaime that whether the Queen is sick or not, she shall not be hunted down like a common criminal and be forced to have that nasty, disgusting medicine put down her delicate throat!!! (Cough! Cough!)
Those who endeavor to disobey this law, shall be terrorized, and threatened by this hissed off cat! And shall be avoided like the plague from which you should suffer! (Oh, where are those dead rats when I need them?)
Be prepared to face my wrath! (sneeze... cough... sniffle... mew?)
No, No No! You can't catch me! I wont have it. You understand me? I wont have it!!! I will hide and sneak away faster than you can imagine.
Hunt me down, will you? I'm smarter than any purrson. Do you think for one minute I cannot outsmart you? Puny hooman! (Ah-Choo!!!)
Think you for an instant that I cannot read your mind?
This is no way to treat your Queen!!! Where is your respect and reverence for me?
No matter how high I am hiding, I will get away from you long before you get that ladder out and try to climb up to me! (Cough! Choke! Gag!)
No matter what low you crawl on your hands and knees to shimmy your hulk under the bed, I am laughing at you all the way up over your back, and down your legs leaving my scratch tracks behind me.
If I felt better I would claw my way through that cat proof window screen and run away from home!
And don't you think for one second that you are going to lure me into that cozy travel carrier again!
I shall not permit you to take me to that so-called Better-inarian! He doesn't make me feel better one iota!!!
In fact, if you will remember correctly, he assaulted me with his thermometer and you stood right there holding me down and helped him!
You are a partner in the crimes against the Crown! You are nothing but a low down Traitor! (Meooooow!!!!)
Have you never heard of Patient's Rights? HOW DARE YOU!!! (Sigh! Cough! Cough!)
Please pet me?