Remembering the Dowager Queen

Missing Keli

Still in your mother's womb, the vet said you were dead. He was wrong, and you were born into my hands. I knew from that moment, I would be yours. You would be mine. I sang to you, "Oh, My Darling, Clementine."

I miss your perfect tufted ears, and sweet wet nose. I miss your sweet apple face, short munchkin legs, and soft fur, miss your firm little body sitting on my chest, the weight of your wisdom seeping into my heart.

Your body lies buried outside the door, but my heart does not rest. Your presence is not in the garden. I know your spirit is not there.

The catnip patch is lonely for you. The leaky faucet calls your name in the middle of the night. Your friend, the hummingbird, sits on his branch, bereft.

I searched the clouds for a sign, like the time we saw your form there. I looked for you in my dreams, but you were not there. I went to the Rainbow Bridge to seek you out, but could not find you.

Are you in the arms of the angels? Are you purring your songs across the universe? Are you right beside me, but I cannot see?

Help me find some comfort, precious Keli. Take my broken heart into your angel paws. Tickle me again with your whiskers in the dark lonely nights. Take my crying eyes, and lick my tears like before.

You gave me strength to get through those painful years when I was sick. Remember? You pounced on me when I stopped breathing. Remember the time you woke me before the fire got too big? I remember, you warned me when the big dog entered the house.

I remember riding in the car with you sniffing the air when we came down the mountain. It was then, you knew we had arrived, finally home. I remember those times I couldn't take you with me. Loud meows scolding me. Remember? You turned tail on me with nose in the air, slinking beneath my reached out hand. How dare I leave you behind? You hid in the closet while I searched. I wanted to pet you, to love you, to have you in my arms again. How quickly you forgave me. Remember?

I was in awe of how much you loved water. Soaking wet as you stood under the sprinkler to drink! On the edge of the bathtub, you sat, temperature testing. Remember the time you fell in, my dear?

You were my best friend twenty years. Your eyes spoke to me of devotion, disdain, humor and love.You gave me healing and blessings.

I feel your spirit all around me, now.

I will pass through time with you in my heart.

Computer Literate Cat

Spyder is getting very computer literate.

His dyslexia gets in the way sometimes, But he wanted me to tell you about a site where Keli and Jeffery are being honored. Keli has been gone 9 months, and Jeffery 3 months.

It's a website we are all probably familiar with called about.com They have a section on Cats that is
singlehandedly managed, organized and authored by Franny Syufu. She works hard and it shows in the quality of her site. So many cats and people who love cats benefit.

Among the many ways Franny focuses her site to meet the needs of cat lovers is that she has provided an opportunity to have a Memorial photo and story of your cat online.

I sent in the pictures of Keli and Jeffery that I would like used and wrote something about each of them. If you would like to do the same, be sure to read the instructions carefully. It is very exacting, but it's necessary for Franny to run the site, meet all the needs of cats and their people and still to take care of the technical end of keeping the site running well.

This is where my darling Keli Clementine was featured

I wrote a poem for her.
 I hope you will drop by the site and read it.
Doesn't she look lovely in this picture?

Can you notice the aura about her head?

She was a very special creature.

This is the memorial link for my Jeffery

He loved sitting out in the garden beneath the pine tree.

And in this case, surrounded by fresh catnip
Isn't he a handsome fellow?
I just love this picture of him.

Calico Birthday

Today is Keli's birthday. She would have been twenty years old. For the longest time, I had confused her birthday with my daughter's which would have been a few days later, but having found my diary, there it was. Keli was born on the 26 th.

I called Xavier and told him I would be driving Keli's poster up to his house. It wouldn't matter if he were home or not. I would just drop it off. I was too stressed out about asking Kats too ship it, to find a correct way to wrap it according to his, fedex, standards.

Even though I have found working on this fulfilling, I have also had this underlying inexplicable stress. Perhaps my medicine? Perhaps because I totally forgot to go to the animal shelter to attend the training night so I could be a volunteer there? No... more probably all the fires. The Bonny Doon fire... I mean the Lockheed fire. Why did they change the name? even though I do not live close to Bonny Doon, the winds blew the smoke and ash southerly right across the bay. Asthma all messed up. Stress. Then, there was the Gloria fire that burned south of here about 50 miles and the stench from that was worse. My breathing suffers. Locked in the house, air conditioner on. It is stressful even going out to the car. Stressful to go to the grocery store. and discover that the air in the store is polluted, that children are screaming and running up and down the aisle, that parents are shouting at their kids. That three teenage boys are throwing a basketball at each other, that the announcements from the LOUD speaker are particularly LOUD! Stress.

I just want to get home. I want to get back to Keli, to loving her, to remembering her, to knowing how much she mattered to me as a daily presence of love and peace in my life. Now, gone.