Remembering the Dowager Queen

Missing Keli

Still in your mother's womb, the vet said you were dead. He was wrong, and you were born into my hands. I knew from that moment, I would be yours. You would be mine. I sang to you, "Oh, My Darling, Clementine."

I miss your perfect tufted ears, and sweet wet nose. I miss your sweet apple face, short munchkin legs, and soft fur, miss your firm little body sitting on my chest, the weight of your wisdom seeping into my heart.

Your body lies buried outside the door, but my heart does not rest. Your presence is not in the garden. I know your spirit is not there.

The catnip patch is lonely for you. The leaky faucet calls your name in the middle of the night. Your friend, the hummingbird, sits on his branch, bereft.

I searched the clouds for a sign, like the time we saw your form there. I looked for you in my dreams, but you were not there. I went to the Rainbow Bridge to seek you out, but could not find you.

Are you in the arms of the angels? Are you purring your songs across the universe? Are you right beside me, but I cannot see?

Help me find some comfort, precious Keli. Take my broken heart into your angel paws. Tickle me again with your whiskers in the dark lonely nights. Take my crying eyes, and lick my tears like before.

You gave me strength to get through those painful years when I was sick. Remember? You pounced on me when I stopped breathing. Remember the time you woke me before the fire got too big? I remember, you warned me when the big dog entered the house.

I remember riding in the car with you sniffing the air when we came down the mountain. It was then, you knew we had arrived, finally home. I remember those times I couldn't take you with me. Loud meows scolding me. Remember? You turned tail on me with nose in the air, slinking beneath my reached out hand. How dare I leave you behind? You hid in the closet while I searched. I wanted to pet you, to love you, to have you in my arms again. How quickly you forgave me. Remember?

I was in awe of how much you loved water. Soaking wet as you stood under the sprinkler to drink! On the edge of the bathtub, you sat, temperature testing. Remember the time you fell in, my dear?

You were my best friend twenty years. Your eyes spoke to me of devotion, disdain, humor and love.You gave me healing and blessings.

I feel your spirit all around me, now.

I will pass through time with you in my heart.