DOWAGER QUEEN

I spoke with Xavier on the phone tonight. I just wanted to chat for a few minutes while Kats was fixing the front door. Just wanted to catch up a bit, connect before he goes off to Burning Man. He just got back from New Zealand. I haven't seen him since he returned. I guess I'm just being a lonesome mama.

We talked about what's been going on with both of us since he returned. We both have been under an incredible amount of stress, lately. Yesterday, or was it the day before I was looking at BurnCast on Facebook and watched a lovely video someone took of the temple, as people visited it and up through it's burn.

Of course, I cannot go there to Burning Man, because of my health issues. Well, not unless I can retreat to a motor home with air conditioning. Ha! Perhaps someday... In the past I have given Xavier a paper to put on the wall, so that the requests I put on it would go up in smoke to heaven. (Description and reasoning more complex than sentence implies). Previously, it was a list of the chondrosarcoma patients that died up to that point, and a request for an imminent cure for chondrosarcoma.

As I watched the BurnCast, I was reminded that the heavy part of my heart needs release of the pain that binds me. So in the conversation I asked Xavier if he would be down here in Santa Cruz again any time soon.

No, not before Burning man, he said. But, he knew I had a reason for asking. It hadn't occurred to me, but it did to him. All I have to do is mail him whatever it is I want to have hung in the temple to be burned.