I is so glad to be bak on the 'puter. I tried and tried to get a chanss to write. But, Miss E was hoggin' it all month of Novemburrr. Even sumtimes I go walknin acrooss dat keyboard, mess up da typin' But, Miss E, she just put me down off da 'Puter. She no fun. She too srious. She was doing that Nonowrimo thing. She finally done now, and she won contest! Bambi even got hurt feelin's 'bout that too. Read yestiddays glogpost to see wat i meen.
Speakin' of Bambi, our beuatafull qween of the house. Sumpin happin funny to her taday. Miss E keep saying Bambi gettin' plump. Now dats twoo cats in the fambly gots plumps! Ninja plus Bambi, and here I is all skinny kitty. I never gets ketched up wit dem! They hoggin all the foods!
to gets bak to wat I was saying, yu knows. I was sayin' dat sumpin' happen Bambi taday. Yu know wat happen? Miss E, she goes ta pick up Bambi. but Bambi no wants ta be pick up. She has good reezon, too. She has tummy upset. I fink dat what she say. No she no want Miss E ta pick her up cuz, she gots tummy upset. Well, dat Miss E, she gonna pick up Bambi ennyway. She not know Bambi tryin' ta tell her sumpin. She not takin a hint when Bambi squirm outa her reach. She not takin da hint when Bambi mew at her. Maybe Bambi not mew loud enuff. Maybe. So, Miss E, she pick up Bambi ennyhow. Bambi tried warn her. But, Miss E no listen, so Bambi get all embarrassed cuz Miss E, carry her belly to belly and Bambi rubs Miss E neck wit her cheek to apologize ahead of time, Den Bambi let one rip. Oh, it big one awright! PpppppbbbbbbbbbbT!!! Poor Bambi, She so embarrassed. She say, no lady cats do dat. EVER! She hide her head on Miss E shoulder! Miss E carry her cross da room and set her down in front of wadder bole so's she can have drink. Bambi grateful. thanks Miss E. But Miss E walkin a way, checkin' out her shirt, wonderin' did Bambi do more than fart? She never heard a cats do dat. She so supprized. She thot Bambi had accident. Dat why she checkin' her shirt. Poor Bambi. No queenie in my house need have dat happinin. No wonner she embarrass. Maybe nex time Miss E lissin to her.
So I decides ta play trick on Miss E. Now I knows da trick we play on Bambi dint turn out too good but dis one gonna be doozy. Ninja tell me wat do. Ninja say sumpin is fung shay speshul in da house and Miss E like it cuz when wind come, fun shay be more spexhal and bring good lucks to da house. I know we need more dan dat cuz inspecktor come and say too many fings broken and now Miss E gots ta fix em. or she in trubble. Ya knows wat I meeans?
So Ninja tell me make fung schway thingy make noise jus like when wind comes thru it. But, wait til windos all closeded so no wind come and only do it wen Miss E ain't lookin' Be Best if she lying down or werkin' on puter. Dat way she no have time to come find me wat I does.
So we has it all plan out. perfekt. Miss E lyin' down. She tired. She watch TV all ho hum. Ninja stand in hallway watchin' her. I standin in da kitchin waitin ta go way high up. Ninja wait to best time. Ninja signal me. "Neow!" he say. Miss E think he talkin at her. She call him, but he no come. She not try get him moar after dat. she jus ho hum wit TV.
Ninja, one mo time he say "Neow!" So I take da signal and run up the rough chair wit my claws all dug in. Den I stands up on top. Gotta Balance says Ninja. Gotta Balance. I pretty good to do balancin', so I balance, den I stands up tall on hind legs. I balance and balance reel good. Den I reach my front paws way up high and der it is, the fung shei thingy. I never know wat gonna happen nex. I gets reel supprize.
I swing my paw against those silver hangin' sticks and guess what? Dey start dancing and singin' and I fall down so fast. No mo balance. But doze fun shay thingies, Dey is still dancin' and singin' Dem got priity singin' kinda tinkle ding ding sound. Verry pritty. and dey keep on dancin' roun in circle, and ding, ding ding all priity moar. But, Ninja he sneaked arouon da back way. He say Pssst. Get away. Heer she come. and he right. Heer she comin' off da bed to look aroun an see ware the music is commin from. she miss it tho. She go to front door. She look out. She wonder if tinkle dings cummin from outside. cuz she gots a fung shway thingie on a tree out dere. But, dey ones inna kichin deys all done singin' so Miss E, she cant tell where that sound com from.
Ninja and me, we laughin' Bambi come out. Ware she been hidin' all dis time? Bambi come out and very reega lee tells us dat playin tricks causes harm. Ninja tell her Fund shui no cause harm. cause good luck. So Bambi walk away. She dizgussded wit us. Yu wait an see, she say. Yu wait an see. Yu no be happy bout dis trick yu play.
So, Ninja and me deside we gonna cool it. But, while Miss E is sleeping we practice. Ninja too fat to do dis. Me. I perfekt for job. Me skinny and tall kitty boy. So, in middle of night, Ninja stan in hallway. He know Miss E sleepin' But he pretend to watch guard eenyhow. So den he give signal. "Neow". I worry is too loud. Mebbe wake her up. But no. Ninja say Neow! So I climbs me favrit chair all way to top. I try be quiet, cuz me claws too noisy. So I is quiet. Good says ninja. He come watch me now. I standin' on top chair. I reachin wit me paws. I swingin me paws at da fung shui tinkle ding ding sticks and dere they goes dancin and singing. It so pritty I swing paw agin. Uh oh, Den Ninja he say lets get outta here. He sneak away fast. I no can copy he good Ninja cat. Me not so good. He say I never be as good as him cuz I white cat, not black cat. He say black cat make best ninja cuz dey hafta hide in da darktime reel good. and me white can can no hide in darktime reel good. No, I show myself like da big moon. But, ninja not fink I is hopeless. He bother teach me sum stuff. Bambi comes by again. How she know ta come by and see us every time like dat? How she know? Huh? Ninja say she have second sense. I don't know where she keep dat money, but if sure do come in handy for her. So Bambi come by did time and she say. Yu guys you leeve dem chymes alone! Chymes. Wat she talkin' bout? Chumes? Chimes she say. She fustated wit me... Chimes! Feng Shui doze fings is chimes. Okay dey is chimes, I say. Okay. we leeve dem alone. Ninja say nuttin.
By dis time we know Miss E waked up. What wake her up? we wonder. Bambi jumps up over sink and hides behind curtain. Ninja sneak away so fast I no don't know ware he is. I crawl unner table. Miss E go to door again. She open and peer out into night time dark. Chimes is all silent now. She not tell where sound come from. She go back to bed. But next fing ya know she gots dat pichur of her old cat, that one she call da Dowager Queen. Da one wat named dis blog. Dowager Queen famous among cats. She, live long long time more than many cats ever. Miss E, she holdin' da pichur of dat cat and rockin' back and forf. I fink maybe she cryin' . Ninja say no, not cryin. no meows involved. No she not cryin. But Bambi say she might be crying in peopel talk cryin' So we don'ts know fer sure cuz she put pichur away and put light out. She sigh a lot and go sleep. She say Keli, Keli, Keli. I miss you. she say Keli was that yu? Was you tryin' to give me message? Oh no's Miss E finks dat Keli sendin' her message by making magic music. Wat we gonna do?
We talk if over, Bambi included. Ninja say it okay, we continue to fool Miss E. If she wanna blieve dat is Keli sendin' message from heaven. What harm in Dat. Mebbe make her feel good. Huh? Mebbe, Bambi, she say, make her confuse. make her sad, not put away her greef. Dat why she got us. to take awy her greef, so she keep busy wit us. Bambi say is better to let Miss E know da truff. Ninja say no harm done. is good trick. pretend it message from Keli is okay. I no want to get in middle of dis no moar. I go to closet and hide and sleep long time.
Nex day Ninja say, Come on , let's do it. I don't wants to, but Ninja say Bambi sleepin. She wont know. baSide's is fun. so I run to chair and climb fastest ever an stand up tall and swipe the chimes. Tinkle ding ding ding, and swipe one more, and den one more. by dis time ninja skeedaddle wiffout even tellin' me. and Dere is Miss E standin not in doorway lookin' outside, but rite in da kitchen lookin' right at me. I caught red-pawed. Her saw me paw swingin. She saw me paw hittin' da chimes, she saw chimes dancin and singing. I fink I is in trubble. I stand dere all scared. cannot move, paw hangin in air. Miss E alla sudden she start cooing. make cutesly noises at me. I cant stands it wen she duzzat. It make me all tingly and purring and wants her pet me, so I jump in her arms. I make no embarrassing noise ether, and she pet me long time coo coo coo at me. Ninja he jus; over in corner scratchin his head. anudder trick back fired. But not so bad diss time. I get petted and loved for doing' trick what miss E likes.