Boring! Boring! Boring! Dis is Spyder. I spy on those two lazy grown up cats. Ninja, he lay 'round alla time, 'n snore, snore, snore. Sumtimes I think, he gonna just explode wit da snorin'. Mebbe dat why he fallin offin da bed. Huh? And dat Ninja. He sneaky boy. So sneaky. No wonder his name Ninja! 'cept he not brave. He a wussy cat. Even elixabet say so. and she know a wussy cat wen she see one. I think she know.
I so bored. I gonna do sumpin 'bout it. I leap up on bed with bestest skill. I try sneak up on Ninja, but he got good ears. Hear me comin' even on soft blankies. How he do dat? I dunno!
So I sneaking closer and closer. That Ninja he growling quiet first, den he growling louder 'n louder. Den him HISS! Wit him big mout open so bigger like panther. Anyway, he say dat is panther hiss, and dat mean last warnin'. But, warnin' me of what? Ever time I sneak up and he do dat, I get closer and closer and he growl and hiss, and I get closer and closer. He give big last warning, but do nothing. So, I just keep closer until I touching him. He huffy puffy go way.
Ha! Now maybe he play wid me. What you think? He play wit me? Naw.... Boring! Boring! Boring!
See my pitchur? Dat how Ninja make da big Hissy. I can do it good too. See? Not very good pitchur tho 'cuz I move and make too fuzzy. Nex time I hold still for camera. No make fuzzy wuzzy. You see soon... nex time. But, did get pretty good one. Huh?
I hungry all da time. But no can find food. Where elixabet hid it? Ninja think he know and take all dat trouble to get up on the condo, den get up on the printer table, den get up on da printer. elixabet no like dis. No way! She put big towel on printer and it slippery. Ninja get on dere and almost slip again 'n again! But him determined. He gonna get my food and Bambi's food. Den when him get way up on top of da compuder closet he not find no food. HA! Elixabet, she fool him! No more dat cat food is dere. ha! ha!
But, dat also mean, I got no food cuz it locked up inside dere. It my food she hidin' So I go in kit-chin and see if Ninja food is dere. He don't mind me eatin' it. He don't like it. He say is diet food. Is tastin' pretty good to me. I would eat it all gone. But, dat elixabet, she no want me eatin' diet food. Not good for me, she say. I gots to eat baby food... kitten food. Other is more intresting. But, when she shut me and Bambi in the room with our food, I eat mine all gone, and part of Bambi's too.
Bambi, she say, is okay, kid. you can eat it. She say she is Lady and like to eat like Lady. That okay wid me, cuz I get her foods. Know what I mean?
Bambi, she no wanna play today either. Boring! Boring! Boring! Alla time I go pounce and she no want me pouncin'. She let me have it real quick. She hold me down. She slap me face. She one tough Lady! I go way. kick da jingle ball. Good attack! I succeed. Jingle ball retire to under washer. I git him later, though. Uou watch and see! OkY? dON't forgit now.
I git so bored, so bored, I go hide. I hide so good for long time. I hide so good nobuddy fine me. Not Bambi, Not Ninja, Not even elixabet. She not find me either. So, I hidin' real good. You wanna know ware I hided? Huh? In da big closet! Dey not knows how I get inside dat closet.
Dat closet door. It shut tight. Wanna know how I get in dere? I slip in between doz two sliding doors. Just push da one behind da first one, and it push open just fine enough for me. I know Ninja too fat to git in dare. No way! Fat Ninja. He too fat. I know Bambi. She a Lady. She no want to go in me secret closet place ennyway, even if she knew whar I was. but those guys, dey don't know. I hided so good.
Boring closet, all dark and nothing to play with. just a buncha boxes. So I climb up to high box and go sleep. So bored. So bored. I bore myself to sleep. Ha!
Boring! Boring! Boring!