I couldn't sleep last night. Yesterday, I had a doctor appointment and afterward I wandered (in my car) just kind of spaced out, and not knowing, or caring where I was going.
Several times I decided on a different destination then ended up at the SPCA to look at cats. Did I think I would find a living Keli there? They had about 8 cats for adoption. All very huge cats at least 25 lbs each. They were big! And of course, I couldn't bring myself to even connect with any of them. I felt numb, and they had no appeal for me. There is a second kind of shelter in my county (no kill) and I went there too. Even though they had a beautiful Calico I couldn't bring myself to bring her home. either. So it wasn't just fat cats that turned me off.
My main purpose in this is not to replace Keli, but to find a kitty that Jeffery can have as a companion. He is pretty miserable without Keli. I've got to find one soon. Even if I don't bond with it, the importance will be for Jeffery's sake. He is down to eating less than half his normal portion of food. He yowls and meows at me whenever I come home. He follows me from room to room. He wants to lay down as close to me as he can, and put his face right next to mine. He needs a friend!
I felt Keli's presence last night. There is a space above my bed beneath the lamp where she used to warm herself. Last night I felt her jump down from that space and land on my shoulder (ever so lightly) as she used to do. Can a cat be a ghostly spirit? I must believe so or I must believe I am delusional. Insane maybe, but not delusion. I choose to believe it was Keli